Helping someone with alcohol or drug addiction is a frustrating experience, when addictions and dependency overtakes a person’s ability to make wise choices or decisions to run their daily lives efficiently, they will eventually find it difficult to participate and associate with others in a normal way, this results in low self esteem and lack of motivation. When an addiction reaches this stage the addicted person may find him or her self thinking about suicide or ways to relieve his or her suffering. For those of us who have not experienced an addiction, there may be little sympathy or compassion for the person afflicted with this disease, yes, addiction has now been classified as a disease, and like any other disease helping someone with an alcohol or drug addiction deserves to be treated in a respectful manner.
Those who have been affected emotionally by a family members addiction will experience all sorts of emotions towards their loved one, such as anger, compassion, sympathy, love, hate and many other emotions in between, it can be a confusing and painful experience to be faced with the dilemma of watching a loved one go downhill due to their addiction, it is especially difficult to help someone with a full blown addiction, especially where mind altering drugs are involved.
There is of course all sorts of advice given to those in this situation ranging from tough love, loving no matter what, get involved with the church even esoteric approaches like energy clearing, breath therapy, ear acupuncture and other forms of acupuncture which have been found effective in treating addiction. I personally feel that anything and every available avenue should be explored to help the person afflicted until you find something that works, at least you can say you tried everything, because there will be the individuals who do not respond to any kind of treatment and will spiral in a deep mental anguish which can often lead to death by misadventure (overdose of medications) or suicide, leaving family members with feelings of guilt and feeling that they could have tried harder.
What can you do to help an addicted person
The challenges faced when trying to help a person who is in a state of full blown addiction can be daunting, as often the addicted person will resist treatment and may have to reach a crisis point before seeking help, even then it can be a long road to recovery, in a lot of these cases a great deal of damage has been done, not only to their bodies in respect to ill health but also mentally, if the situation has gone on for years and the person has been treated, as it is in many cases with anti psychotic medications, the prognosis for that persons rehabilitation may be limited. So what can you do to not only help yourself, but help the one affected by drugs or alcohol.
In the early stages of addiction
- If the person is young and in the early stages of addiction, do your utmost to find a rehabilitation center that focus on motivation, preferably in a farm situation where they are physically working and can get some counseling or placed in a situation where they can learn to challenge themselves with outdoor activities. This will help stimulate the natural hormones in the brain and improve their energy levels.
- Avoid wherever possible admitting a young person to a psychiatric or medical institution, they will often diagnose the addict with Bipolar or manic depression or schizophrenia and place him on more drug therapy and this can be the beginning of the end.
- In my experience as a drug and alcohol counselor, I have witnessed rehabilitation of several young people through involvement with the church.
- Discourage relationships that are harmful to your loved one, voice your opinion of how you feel about the person he or she is associating with.
- During adolescence don’t try to be your child’s friend if you are a parent. During these fragile adolescent years they need a parent to guide them. Parents can make a big mistake in thinking that their children can their friend, there is time for that later when they are grown up.
- Parents can often become controlling, avoid this, your children will rebel.
- Do not throw your young one out into the street, thinking that this is tough love, you will only expose him or her to another type of life which may become habitual.
- Make sure that they eat properly, omega 3‘s and a good multi vitamin are highly recommended.
- Keep the communication lines open at all costs, you can be angry but make a mammoth effort to keep talking with the addict.
If you find yourself in a situation where your family member has regressed into full blow addiction and you are at a loss as to how you can help them, there is one important point to remember, don’t turn your back on them, offer love and support whenever they ask for it. Many parents fall into the trap of constantly giving advice to the point where the addict has stopped listening. The addicted person would rather not have this affliction, for them it is a mixed bag of emotions, compulsions or a way of escaping from realities of life’s stresses or events that have lead them to this place in their lives and they need love, support and help in overcoming their addiction.
Beyond the early stages of addiction
- If the addicted person is living with you, you must insist that your home be respected. If this request goes unheeded then you may have to ask them to leave, if this is the case, help them to find other accommodation, do not throw them out.
- As I have mentioned earlier avoid at all cost sending your loved one to a psychiatric facility, he or she will often come out with other drug addictions. In some instances where the addicted person has become uncontrollable you may not have a choice, but wherever possible look for another way of dealing with an uncontrollable addict. There are drug agencies that have volunteers on hand who will talk to you and your family member, thus helping to calm the situation. Always keep on hand telephone numbers of such agencies, some offer free counseling services.
- It is extremely difficult for parents with an adult addict to know when to help and when not to, if the situation has gotten out of control there are services that offer interventions, they are not cheap, but can be quite effective in convincing your loved one to seek help.
- If you are involved with a family member who is out of control, you must remember you cannot do it for another, he or she has to be a willing party in seeking help.
- Do not compromise your safety and emotional well being in trying to do too much for your loved one, there is only so much you can do, having said that I don’t mean that you should just give up and look the other way, always be there to help if they ask.
Forms of treatment for drug addiction
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- Methadone - A synthetic opiod, is just another addictive substance, only legal, and highly addictive, in fact for many it can be worse, they may never be able to detox from this substance and very often suffer health problems as a result of this drug.
- Naltrexone - an opiate receptor antagonist, also used in alcoholism, this can have side effects such as depression and often the alcoholic will override the medication by drinking more, but has been successful in some cases where the person is serious about his recovery.
- Subatex or Buprenorphine, Temgesic or Suboxone – oral or injected – used to treat narcotic addiction – probably a better alternative to methadone treatment.
If resorting to these medication, they should only be a temporary measure to help the addict overcome his need to inject or use opiates, but as is often the case, many of these people remain on these medications for many years and can develop other serious side effects from long term use, some addicts will crush tablets in order to inject.
Forms of treatment for alcoholism
- Anti-abuse (Disulfiram) – An alcoholic can suffer a severe reactions or even death if drinking alcohol with this drug.
- Cipramil (citalopram) – Citalopram is a bicyclic phthalane derivative with antidepressant effect.
This is not a comprehensive view on drug addiction, I do not advocate any of the medications mentioned here, addiction is a complicated illness, there is no pill or medicine that will make it go away. I believe where ever possible a natural, caring approach using many of the alternative modalities available are less harmful and probably in the long run more helpful.
Jon Currie is a neurologist and an addiction medicine specialist. He is Director of Addiction Medicine and Translational Neurobiology at St Vincent’s Hospital, Melbourne, Australia. In reviewing the drug policy of the AFL’s illicit drugs policy, Professor Currie was quoted as saying “drug problems are health problems; they’re not criminal problems, they’re not moral problems”.
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It really breaks my heart to see my father walking drunk in the street looking like an idiot. And I know when he’s drunk he feels so sad to be a laughing stock. Thank you for showing me how to hel him.
It is heartbreaking to see one you love in such a sad state, I think almost everybody has someone in their family chain that is an alcoholic or drug addict. I think one of the most important thing a loved one can do is to keep the door open and always with love, one should never give up hope on them.